a bad week

To all those I adore,

This week is pretty bad so far, it is just one of those crappy weeks were everything seems to go wrong. Every time I open my mouth I just blurt out something that doesn't sound like me. So for the rest of the week I will keep to myself as much as possible in other words, trying not to shove my foot in my mouth (see picture below for diagram).

I have two exams this week I took the first of the two yesterday. It was not so bad, I am lucky to have got to school a little early though because otherwise I would not have reviewed an essential part of the course. My next exam is tomorrow night from 6 pm to 10 pm, I fear it like the reaper. It is for my adviser's class and he is somewhat not at all sane as far as length of problems are concerned.

Next week I leave for Idaho for an interview. I really am hoping to get the job. Some days I think to myself, "WOW I could have a master's degree" the other/majority of the days I dread going to class and taking even more exams. I am tired of going through the grading process, of doing a lot of homework and getting great grades on homeworks but not so great on exams and having a crappy grade to show for all the effort. I have never been one to agree with the basis of grading in college. I think it is a bunch of shit to speak bluntly.

College is in semesters or quarters, so either 16 weeks of courses, or 10 weeks at a time. Typically a undergraduate student takes 4 to 5 classes per term. Taking 4 to 5 classes is not so bad, the workload (homework, projects, etc) can be intense at times. However, the way classes are graded typically comes down to only 4-7 hours of that entire 16 or 10 weeks. A typical 4 credit class requires 8-12 hours of homework/project time a week, so that accumulates to an average of 10 hours a week for 10 weeks is 100 hours. Then add in the time in class which is 4 hours a week and that is 40 more hours. Totallying 140 hours of which only 7 determine over half of your grade, time well spent? I will let you decide.

In a standard undergraduate class home works are worth about 10-15% of your grade, and many classes will have projects worth about 5% and if you are damn lucky 10%. So that leaves anywhere from 75% up to 85% of your class grade dependent on your exam grades. Usually if 85% of the grade is exams you will have two midterms worth 25% and one final worth 35%. Typically you can have about 1.5 hours per midterm and about 3 hours for a final. So 85% of your grade for one class is determined in 6 hours out of a 10 week course. Take into account now that most of the 4 or 5 classes you take all have exams in the same week. That is a lot of stress to take on in 3 weeks out of the 10 week course. Then if you have have 4 or 5 classes it is likely you will have more than 1 exam on the same day. Thus boosting your stress higher.

Now I will attempt to quantify stress of a college student. First, we need a control case to compare with. So let us consider a normal person of age 28 that has a wife and child with a middle income for both parents. Both parents have already gone through college and have decent white collared jobs. For each stress I will try to be liberal. High stress is 10 while a low stress is 1. I am considering a typical day for a healthy male here, so having a wife adds 6 points (newlyweds still). Working causes 5 points (remember he is not a drone to work environment yet). The child is another 4 points. Bills/taxes 2 points (believing they live moderately). Chores at home 1 point. Health worries 1 point. Car issues 1 point. Living environment 1 point. So in total a healthy male with a child and wife with a higher education and decent jobs typical stress level for one day is 21.

Now take a single male college student during exams week. Let's say he has a girlfriend that adds 6 points, in my experience guys with girlfriends are more stressed than married ones. Even ones who marry their long time girlfriend seem less stressed afterwards. No child so that is a 0 pointer. Working part time adds 5 points because it is taking away from time you could be studying. Bills/taxes 4 points, during exams week one starts to worry about everything in order to avoid worrying about the exam, somewhat like substituting lower worries for the higher worry. Chores at home -1 points, no one does chores during exams week and if you do it is a stress relief to not be studying. Living environment 5 points, let's face it apartment living/dorm living is not a nice quiet place to study. Health stress 3, exams week once again you substitute a lower worry for the higher. Car issues 0 points, if you have a car you are ahead in the game. Now the exam stress gets a big ole 9, while it may be extremely stressful it is not as high as a stress as you can get. So in total on exams week a college student has a stress level of 31. So next time you are talking to a college student saying oh these are the best years of your life. Just remember not mention that during exams week.

In other news I figure out how to post links on this thingy. The Dark Tower series I am reading is based off of Robert Browning's poem Childe Roland To The Dark Tower Came. You can read it by clicking on the link there. It is pretty dark, a lot of the events that occur in the poem are similar to events in the series. Browning said that the poem came to him in a dream from God, and only he and God knew what it meant and now only God knows what it means. Try that on for crazy. Anyways to see my obsession you can read this poem if you like. It is pretty good but Browning sometimes gets lost in the Shakespeare. The poem was also inspired by a scene in King Lear, by a song sung by Edgar while he pretend to be a madman. Browning tries to adapt of lot of the lingo but somewhat fails. Anyways it is there for you to judge.

Well this is getting pretty long so I will let you go for now. Anywho if you have read this far you should spend a few more seconds and LEAVE A COMMENT on this blog it would be much appreciated.

Love and kisses,
Rick

To leave you with a quote:
"I will show you fear in a handful of dust."
~T.S. Elliot

p.s. I no longer have faith in the academy awards.

p.s.s. If anyone wants to watch Stephen Colbert rip G.W. for 24 minutes straight here is the link.

nothing better to do

To those I adore,

So many of you are probably scratching your heads about my last blog wondering what the hell I was talking about. Well I was just bored and thought I would tell you all why it is impossible to time travel. Also, the entire theory of time and physics is a bunch of B.S. once you are far enough away from Earth (i.e. relativity) but proving time (how we know it) does not exist is an easy enough task, that I will leave to the reader.

As for an update I will try to be brief. Jeff is here in Raleigh for the next three weeks doing some training for his new job, I am really proud that he finally got a new job. The other company he worked for was just crap. Rob has started blogging as well his site is at the following address http://rob-wingfield.blogspot.com/. There are some pictures of his new baby girl Milina up on it so go check it out.

As for me it is the same shit different day. I am looking forward to the 6th with my fingers crossed. I would really like to start working and have Kailey finish her degree. I am ready to move on with life, get married, travel around a little, and eventually have kids. I am hoping that this job in Idaho will allow for that. One thing that is good is that it is for Naval Reactors and hopefully sometime in the future I could transfer to Washington up at the shipyards there. However, I am somewhat nervous because I got caught up in a weird information exchange. When the fellow called me for the first phone interview he was from the radiation protection part of NRF, that job was not really what my background is focused on so he said he would have someone from their fuel development section call me. The next phone call I received was about flying me out and when I could come out from a personnel manager. So what job am I interviewing for, I am not sure, but I will cram on both subjects before I head out. I am confident with my radiation protection skills but fuels is a vast volume of information.

In other news I just finished reading Stephen King's fourth instalment of the Dark Tower series. His self proclaimed masterpiece his magnum opus. It is a relationship I have delved my mind into and somehow cannot get out of until I finish reading all of them. They just came out with a comic book version of this series two weeks ago and of course I bought the first issue. They are in talks with J.J. Abrams the director of the hit T.V. series "Lost" to do either a series of movies, or mini-series based on the Dark Tower series. That I would be super pumped for, but at the same time dread it because the books are so long and so detailed I do not think they would do it justice unless you ended up with "Lord of the Rings"-ish type of movies where you can run the Boston Marathon in a shorter time than watching all three movies. For Dad, J.J. Abrams is producing the next Star Trek movie (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0796366/). Anywho I am a huge fan of this series and the fourth installment was one of the better ones so far. I only have three more books to go now and started the fifth last night.

Well that is all for now I think.

Love and kisses,
Rick

To leave you with a quote:
"No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."
~Friedrich Nietzsche

if I could turn back time...no!

To all those I adore, and Cher,

Time travel is not possible. First to prove it is not possible we simply look at the conservation of mass in a closed system. The mass in a closed system will simply remain constant. So since most people will want to time travel to their own past, and or another time it is not possible. So consider Earth as the closed system. Two bodies of the same mass (i.e. you) cannot exist in the same system. You can not squeeze a size 12 foot into a size 6 shoe, just not possible. However, matter can change form but it cannot be created or destroyed (unless you start talking about anti-neutrinos). So in theory you could come back as long as something went forward of the same mass. However, that would require some neat and sophisticated device. Also, you would either have to travel to a time before you existed or transfer your past mass to the future as long as they are equal.

Now some people still may be thinking well physics is really relative only to Earth so how can physics hold for the entire galaxy. For this mass conservation still exist. The only physics that holds once you are away from Earth is anything independent of time. You see the further you get away the different time becomes. It is the theory of relativity. Considering the entire world we can assume safely that it is at steady state (dM/dt=0) and mass is conserved.

Now consider that this is not longer a closed system that we consider the universe is expanding then (dM/dt is not =0). Then it is still easy to prove time travel is not possible. So at point A when I want to start my journey back in time the volume of the universe is Va. I want to go back to point B, and corresponding volume Vb. This is obviously not possible because new material exist in Va that does not in Vb and it is possible to cary some of that back in time which would break the conservation of mass principle.

Anyways as you can tell I am bored. You people need to post comments on here I feel like no one ever reads this stuff.

Love and kisses,
Rick

To leave you with a quote:
"Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind."
~Evan Esar

good news for people who like good news

To all I adore,

For those that did not catch the tittle of my last blog it was the numbers from the hit show "Lost". It is odd for those who do not watch there is a character named Hurley. He at one point is in an insane asylum and another patient there that he hangs out with only says one thing over and over again, and it is those numbers. Anyways Hurley plays the number on the lottery and wins $100 million or so. Then the cursed numbers take over, while his financial life becomes more and more secure (i.e. he gets richer) other things in his life come crashing down in a disaster. His best friend ditches him, his grandfather dies, the house he bought his mother burns down, he breaks his mother's foot, and he gets Lost.

Yesterday after I got home something weird happened. I got a phone call from the job I applied for in Idaho Falls, and they are flying me out next month. Coincidence? I think not, it is the numbers. I played them and they are taking the effect now. Ha ha just joking. I just thought it was odd that such a great thing happened to me the day I "played" the numbers.

I am looking forward to next month and will hopefully like the job I am interviewing for. However, at the same time I have been contacting OSU and my old advisor is now the head of the graduate department, and wrote me recently that I am in the running for funding. So now the question is what do I want? I have been saying all year I am burned out on school, but at the same time I am afraid to leave it. School is all I have ever known. Also, what if the job is not in the area I am interested in but pays well? Or if it is in the area but does not pay well? That is the catch 22 I am currently in.

As far as school goes right now I am in classes I really enjoy, so I am not burned out this term. However, it only takes a little bit to get burned out like last term. Where the work load was normal, but all the classes I had I did not like, and I hated school. I think it will come down to the job. If it is what I am looking for or closely related, something I will enjoy, and it has the salary I desire then I will take it. If not I can keep looking and keep on with school.

Idaho is also pretty far from parents and family, for both Kailey and I. However, the only other employment I could get in the Northwest would be in Richland or up near Seattle with the Naval Shipyards. On the other hand Idaho is a lot closer to home than North Carolina, there it is only a days drive, or a short flight. Idaho would also be ideal for Kailey to go back to school. She really wants to finish her degree and they have exactly what she wants there. She wants to work as a radiographer in a hospital (x-ray), but most colleges have a 2 year associates program. She also wants a 4 year degree. Well at ISU they have a 4 year B.S. radiographer degree. That would be very ideal, for her to finish up.

I love Idaho Falls, the past two summers have been damn near the best time in my life. It is a very relaxed community, I have almost no stress there at all, maybe it is the mountain/desert air. I have friends there already, more than I have here. It is a wonderful community. There is a lack of larger cities nearby but I figure I do not really need cities. I know I am also getting way ahead of myself I am just interviewing for the job, I have not been offered it. I think if they offer something decent I will accept. Otherwise, one more year!

Love and kisses,
Rick

To leave you with a quote:
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. "
~Benjamin Franklin

4 8 15 16 23 42

To all those I adore,
It has been awhile since I have wrote about anything good. Well it is about time I did so. My brother Rob and his fiance Michelle just had a baby girl. Her name is Milina, and she welcomed to the world late January (25th I believe). I was supposed to head up there a few weekends ago but the trip will have to be delayed because Kailey's car is not prepaired to go. Stupid car. We do not have chains, it has issues to begin with and we just could not afford anything to go wrong. But we will be heading there in May for sure, maybe then we will take a train or something because I hate driving. Anyways below are some pictures of robs new baby girl. Hope you enjoy.

She looks a little like Rob don't you think? Babies typically look like their father's the first few months is the rumor I hear. Awe isn't that cute, wait, Rob is a Dad, this is getting wierd around here.
A new family of Wingfield's is born. World domination will soon commence!!!!

Here are the photos Jeff's family had done this past Christmas. Jeff recently got a job in Washington for a drug company selling drugs. Ha, I just like saying it like that. Anyways he has been training for the past month and will be heading here to good old Raleigh in about two weeks for more training. It is great though because now he is near home and out of hell...I mean California. He is making awesome money and hopefully will make a go of it up in the Northwest.

It is obvious who dressed Caden for this picture...I will give you a hint, it was not Iselle.

Sorry to sound not so manly here but this picture is adorable.

World domination, world domination! Jeff and Iselle are going to have another kid, in about oh 9 months! WORLD DOMINATION!!!

Love and kisses,

Rick

To leave you with a quote:

"Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand ona stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that speicial girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity."

~

Beeth-oven lovingly

To those I adore,

My very first pet Beethoven has died. As many of you know he became diabetic a few years ago. Well the disease eventually ate away at him so bad he could not walk in a straight line let alone have the energy to perform basic survival instincts such as eating. My father after one rough night brought him to the vet and put him down.

This happened a few days ago, and I have been trying to think of a way to honor my best friend for 15 years without sounding too much like a cheeseball. It comes down to the very fact that I cannot. So where to start, as always it is best in the beginning.

When we first moved to The Dalles it was the first time in my life where I had had to leave something I loved. I really loved Tillamook, I had a great childhood there and made a lot of good friends. So it was very tough on me and I think my parents saw the toll it took on me. I had a hard time making friends in The Dalles and after asking for a pet a thousand times my parents decided to let me get a cat. I can't recollect exactly where we went to get him, all I can remember is that we searched the papers and found an add for free kittens. We went to the place and immediately I saw him and chose him. I remember how very small he was and the entire ride home I couldn't take my eyes off of him, I couldn't believe I actually got an animal of my own. In the car I decided to name him Beeth Oven, but eventually everyone thought that was a silly name and it turned into Beethoven.

We were best of friends from the beginning. He slept on my bed with me most nights. He used to liek to curl up by my neck or in my armpit. ALways he was a very playful kitty when you wanted him to be unlike most cats who are extremely moody and tempermental. Beethoven was far from this. If you wanted to just pet him he would love every second of it because it was his favorite thing in the world to have human contact. When you wanted to play with him all you had to do was get a piece of string or let him drag on your foot.

During his early years he was an attack cat, because he would hide out of site and come from nowhere and attack your feet which always got my dad. I remember when my mom was canning cherries he decided to climb up her, oh the noises were so funny.

Eventually after a few weeks a new kitty came into our family and her name was Pebbles and she was Rob's cat. Beethoven of course was very curious of her, but at first she did not want anything to do with him. Eventually they became best of friends and were inseperable. With the introduction of a male kitty and female kitty we decided it best to get them fixed and declawed.

Gradually with several years passing Beethoven elevated from attack cat to fat cat. For many of you who knew him you knew why. At one point Beethoven got so fat that his stomach dragged on the ground when he walked and he had a tiny bald spot where the hair rubbed off. But he was my fat cat and I loved him. I used to through him on my shoulder where he would just hang out and I could walk around with him like a baby and he didn't mind at all.

Due to some unforseen event the cat's started to spray, I think it was the start of their geriatric days. So we moved the cats to outside. They did pretty well but anyone could tell they were raised as indoor cats since they hardly left the porch, especially Beethoven. There were several memorable moments of them being outside. My mother had one inparticular, I will try to transpose this second hand story to the best of my abilities.

One day my mother was outside doing some gardening and two elderly ladies walked by and were looking at this cat who appeared dead on his back with paws up in the air. They were remarking on how sad it was when all of the sudden the cat moved and the women screamed in suprise. Of course you know who that cat was it was Beethoven sleeping. Most cats do not lay flat on their spines because it pains them for prolonged periods of time but Beethoven was so fat this was the most comfortable for him and he knew he looked cute so he did it. Another one of my favorite stories is when he was still a kitten and fell into the bathtub with my mom, but that one you can imagine yourself.

Now back to his life. After several years of being an outdoor cat he finally started to get brave and explore our immediate neighboors. Somehow a dog (the neighbors below our house I believe) mauled him. He was missing for several days when my father finally found him in the neighbors bush hiding. My father knew something had happened and was carrying him back to the house petting him and noticed maggots in his fur. Beethoven had been bitten and there was a deep wide wound near the rear part of his spine. Dad cleaned out the maggots and saw the extent of the damage and took him to the vet. The vet said there was little chance of him being able to recover due to the severity of the damage. He stayed in the batthroom so that our dog would not bother him and so he would have a safe place. I remember visiting him in there and praying that he would live. I knew Pebbles missed him because she was at the back door meowing for several weeks while he was recovering. He did pull through after several scary weeks.

Awhile after he healed up we put him back outside where he now only left the porch to go to the bathroom or visit someone who was doing yardwork. He gained a lot of weight and got to the point where his belly dragged across the ground. A few months later he started to lose it and fast. It turned out he had diabetes. Luckily he was pretty fat so it took him a long time to get really skinny. We decided that if he ever got to the point he was in too much pain we would put him down. That finally happened a few days ago. He was only about 3 pounds, mostly bones and lose skin. Over Christmas I spent time with him, and said my goodbye to him I knew I would not be seeing him again and hoping that it was not true. Unfortunately I will not see him again.

Goodbye Beethoven, you were my friend.

Love,
Rick

To leave you with a quote:
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow."
~Jeff Valdez

P.S. Sorry I do not have pictures.