To those I adore,
My very first pet Beethoven has died. As many of you know he became diabetic a few years ago. Well the disease eventually ate away at him so bad he could not walk in a straight line let alone have the energy to perform basic survival instincts such as eating. My father after one rough night brought him to the vet and put him down.
This happened a few days ago, and I have been trying to think of a way to honor my best friend for 15 years without sounding too much like a cheeseball. It comes down to the very fact that I cannot. So where to start, as always it is best in the beginning.
When we first moved to The Dalles it was the first time in my life where I had had to leave something I loved. I really loved Tillamook, I had a great childhood there and made a lot of good friends. So it was very tough on me and I think my parents saw the toll it took on me. I had a hard time making friends in The Dalles and after asking for a pet a thousand times my parents decided to let me get a cat. I can't recollect exactly where we went to get him, all I can remember is that we searched the papers and found an add for free kittens. We went to the place and immediately I saw him and chose him. I remember how very small he was and the entire ride home I couldn't take my eyes off of him, I couldn't believe I actually got an animal of my own. In the car I decided to name him Beeth Oven, but eventually everyone thought that was a silly name and it turned into Beethoven.
We were best of friends from the beginning. He slept on my bed with me most nights. He used to liek to curl up by my neck or in my armpit. ALways he was a very playful kitty when you wanted him to be unlike most cats who are extremely moody and tempermental. Beethoven was far from this. If you wanted to just pet him he would love every second of it because it was his favorite thing in the world to have human contact. When you wanted to play with him all you had to do was get a piece of string or let him drag on your foot.
During his early years he was an attack cat, because he would hide out of site and come from nowhere and attack your feet which always got my dad. I remember when my mom was canning cherries he decided to climb up her, oh the noises were so funny.
Eventually after a few weeks a new kitty came into our family and her name was Pebbles and she was Rob's cat. Beethoven of course was very curious of her, but at first she did not want anything to do with him. Eventually they became best of friends and were inseperable. With the introduction of a male kitty and female kitty we decided it best to get them fixed and declawed.
Gradually with several years passing Beethoven elevated from attack cat to fat cat. For many of you who knew him you knew why. At one point Beethoven got so fat that his stomach dragged on the ground when he walked and he had a tiny bald spot where the hair rubbed off. But he was my fat cat and I loved him. I used to through him on my shoulder where he would just hang out and I could walk around with him like a baby and he didn't mind at all.
Due to some unforseen event the cat's started to spray, I think it was the start of their geriatric days. So we moved the cats to outside. They did pretty well but anyone could tell they were raised as indoor cats since they hardly left the porch, especially Beethoven. There were several memorable moments of them being outside. My mother had one inparticular, I will try to transpose this second hand story to the best of my abilities.
One day my mother was outside doing some gardening and two elderly ladies walked by and were looking at this cat who appeared dead on his back with paws up in the air. They were remarking on how sad it was when all of the sudden the cat moved and the women screamed in suprise. Of course you know who that cat was it was Beethoven sleeping. Most cats do not lay flat on their spines because it pains them for prolonged periods of time but Beethoven was so fat this was the most comfortable for him and he knew he looked cute so he did it. Another one of my favorite stories is when he was still a kitten and fell into the bathtub with my mom, but that one you can imagine yourself.
Now back to his life. After several years of being an outdoor cat he finally started to get brave and explore our immediate neighboors. Somehow a dog (the neighbors below our house I believe) mauled him. He was missing for several days when my father finally found him in the neighbors bush hiding. My father knew something had happened and was carrying him back to the house petting him and noticed maggots in his fur. Beethoven had been bitten and there was a deep wide wound near the rear part of his spine. Dad cleaned out the maggots and saw the extent of the damage and took him to the vet. The vet said there was little chance of him being able to recover due to the severity of the damage. He stayed in the batthroom so that our dog would not bother him and so he would have a safe place. I remember visiting him in there and praying that he would live. I knew Pebbles missed him because she was at the back door meowing for several weeks while he was recovering. He did pull through after several scary weeks.
Awhile after he healed up we put him back outside where he now only left the porch to go to the bathroom or visit someone who was doing yardwork. He gained a lot of weight and got to the point where his belly dragged across the ground. A few months later he started to lose it and fast. It turned out he had diabetes. Luckily he was pretty fat so it took him a long time to get really skinny. We decided that if he ever got to the point he was in too much pain we would put him down. That finally happened a few days ago. He was only about 3 pounds, mostly bones and lose skin. Over Christmas I spent time with him, and said my goodbye to him I knew I would not be seeing him again and hoping that it was not true. Unfortunately I will not see him again.
Goodbye Beethoven, you were my friend.
Love,
Rick
To leave you with a quote:
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow."
~Jeff Valdez
P.S. Sorry I do not have pictures.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
on death
To those I adore,
I started to write this blog about a friend of mine who had lost her mother to cancer very rapidly (3 months after diagnosed). I was going to go deep into how to exist in a world without your parents/loved ones. As I typed I realized just how full of it I was. Trust me I went in the full circle and contridicted myself many of times and then decided I cannot possibly write about that. I have no experience. As far as I know, with who I am today, when a loved one died I would not exist anymore, part of me would be gone. That is all.
Love,
Rick
To leave you with a quote:
"The God I believe in does not send us the problem; he gives us the strength to cope with it."
~ Rabbi Harold S. Kushner
"When Bad Things Happen to Good People"
I started to write this blog about a friend of mine who had lost her mother to cancer very rapidly (3 months after diagnosed). I was going to go deep into how to exist in a world without your parents/loved ones. As I typed I realized just how full of it I was. Trust me I went in the full circle and contridicted myself many of times and then decided I cannot possibly write about that. I have no experience. As far as I know, with who I am today, when a loved one died I would not exist anymore, part of me would be gone. That is all.
Love,
Rick
To leave you with a quote:
"The God I believe in does not send us the problem; he gives us the strength to cope with it."
~ Rabbi Harold S. Kushner
"When Bad Things Happen to Good People"
Friday, January 19, 2007
in memory of a great friend
To all those I adore,
My dog of 15 years died yesturday. For those of you that never met Molly she was a pure breed cocker spanial. She was a good dog all around. She may have barked a lot in her youth, but it was mostly out of excitement. We got molly on a cold Christmas morning, my parents had to turn the radio on their bedroom alarm clock on so my brothers and I could not hear her wimpers and whines the night before Christmas. The next morning after ripping and tearing through our presents my mother went into our kitchen (this was before the remodel) and opened the door to the sun porch and out comes running the tiniest little puppy. She ran to Jeff first as I recall and of course he instantly thought it was his dog since he had been asking for one for years. She went around the room sniffing and licking everyone in turn. She was the cutest puppy.
As years passed she developed her odd personality. She learned a trick every superbowl as my mom would sit and feed her Cherios while patiently teaching her to sit-up, lay down, and roll over. Soon Molly had learned to only do tricks for treats. You could tell her to lay down but after you said, "good dog" she would instantly bolt for the cupboard where her treats were stored. I may have called her a dumb dog many times but we all new she was very cunning and smart.
She was one of those rare dogs that are afraid of water. I recall going to the John Day River to go water skiing and coming back to shore and trying to get Molly to come and swim with us. My brothers and I coaxed her for what seemed like hours to finally come in. One paw at a time she slowly paddled out to us, and of course right before she got to us she turned around and swam back only to run back to where my mother sat in a lawn chair.
Anyone who has ever played fetch with Molly would recognize this behavior, she always was a tease and a butthead but still very fun to play with. You could throw a ball and she would sprint after it grab it and start to run back to you like any other dog, then as she approached closer she would see you start to bend over to grab the ball and she would veer off in another direction. I always called this her victory lap, however, she took many laps. At this point in the game you had two choices, one you could call out to her and see if she may come back to you and give you the ball, or the more likely one, you chased her. Even when she would bring the ball back she was such a butt she would drop it five feet from your feet and even then it was a challenge to race to the ball before she decided to pick it up again. I think Molly figured if she had to run so did you.
Molly was a dog who not only liked to be chased she also loved to chase you. All you had to do was start running and she instantly knew it was time to play. I am sure everyone can remember in my house is the useless hallway that is but the stairway. I remember we would run around that trying to outsmart Molly and hide from her, she would listen and try to hear which side you were on and then come after you running as fast as she could. Socks were always hard to play in and eventually she would catch you and immediately bark at you and jump on you and lick and knaw at you because she was excited. She loved to do that a kind of hide and seek game. I recall once hiding from her by putting a pillow over my face, she looked everywhere for me. She went upstairs looking for me, then back down, then up again, and finally when she came down again I had removed the pillow and she came at me barking and wagging her butt.
Everyone knows Molly couldn't hurt a fly. Probably because she forgot how to almost immediately after getting her. We would always play with her and she would clamp her mouth around your hand or arm but you would never feel anything because she never played too rough. She was very good at knowing how to play nice. I recall our neighbor's Rottweiler Dolly got out one day and was in our yard and Molly went tearing after her barking like she was rabid. She was at Dolly's ankle trying to remember how to attack but all she could do is bark real loud and act tough. Luckily Dolly was very docile and simply sniffed Molly. But that was my dog, she was funny all around.
In her later years she developed health problems. One of her ears eventually got so bad that they had to perform surgery on it and she lost all hearing in it. But there was no real difference in her because Molly chose when she wanted to listen and when she didn't. She really listened when the word "bone" was involved. Her health continued to get worse and her heart started to gather fluid around it. My parents had to feed her several pills a day for it. Eventually she lost hearing all together. But she never stopped being a loving dog, it meant the world to her if you would rub her ears for her you were her best friend. Eventually the fluid around her got to great for her to bear and her body started to shutdown. It got so bad that yesturday she could not walk across the room and my father took her to the vet, where it was determined best to put her down so she would not suffer anymore than she already had.
Molly was a very good dog and I will miss her very much. She was always a comfort when you needed one. She was a pain sometimes but overall she was an wonderful dog. I have many good memories of her and will cherish them forever.
Rest in peace Molly Tamale Wingfield, we will miss you. You truly were man's best friend.
Love and kisses,Rick
To leave you with a quote:
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."
~Josh Billings
p.s. Sorry I do not have anymore pictures of her, I will try to dig some up.
My dog of 15 years died yesturday. For those of you that never met Molly she was a pure breed cocker spanial. She was a good dog all around. She may have barked a lot in her youth, but it was mostly out of excitement. We got molly on a cold Christmas morning, my parents had to turn the radio on their bedroom alarm clock on so my brothers and I could not hear her wimpers and whines the night before Christmas. The next morning after ripping and tearing through our presents my mother went into our kitchen (this was before the remodel) and opened the door to the sun porch and out comes running the tiniest little puppy. She ran to Jeff first as I recall and of course he instantly thought it was his dog since he had been asking for one for years. She went around the room sniffing and licking everyone in turn. She was the cutest puppy.
As years passed she developed her odd personality. She learned a trick every superbowl as my mom would sit and feed her Cherios while patiently teaching her to sit-up, lay down, and roll over. Soon Molly had learned to only do tricks for treats. You could tell her to lay down but after you said, "good dog" she would instantly bolt for the cupboard where her treats were stored. I may have called her a dumb dog many times but we all new she was very cunning and smart.
She was one of those rare dogs that are afraid of water. I recall going to the John Day River to go water skiing and coming back to shore and trying to get Molly to come and swim with us. My brothers and I coaxed her for what seemed like hours to finally come in. One paw at a time she slowly paddled out to us, and of course right before she got to us she turned around and swam back only to run back to where my mother sat in a lawn chair.Anyone who has ever played fetch with Molly would recognize this behavior, she always was a tease and a butthead but still very fun to play with. You could throw a ball and she would sprint after it grab it and start to run back to you like any other dog, then as she approached closer she would see you start to bend over to grab the ball and she would veer off in another direction. I always called this her victory lap, however, she took many laps. At this point in the game you had two choices, one you could call out to her and see if she may come back to you and give you the ball, or the more likely one, you chased her. Even when she would bring the ball back she was such a butt she would drop it five feet from your feet and even then it was a challenge to race to the ball before she decided to pick it up again. I think Molly figured if she had to run so did you.
Molly was a dog who not only liked to be chased she also loved to chase you. All you had to do was start running and she instantly knew it was time to play. I am sure everyone can remember in my house is the useless hallway that is but the stairway. I remember we would run around that trying to outsmart Molly and hide from her, she would listen and try to hear which side you were on and then come after you running as fast as she could. Socks were always hard to play in and eventually she would catch you and immediately bark at you and jump on you and lick and knaw at you because she was excited. She loved to do that a kind of hide and seek game. I recall once hiding from her by putting a pillow over my face, she looked everywhere for me. She went upstairs looking for me, then back down, then up again, and finally when she came down again I had removed the pillow and she came at me barking and wagging her butt.
Everyone knows Molly couldn't hurt a fly. Probably because she forgot how to almost immediately after getting her. We would always play with her and she would clamp her mouth around your hand or arm but you would never feel anything because she never played too rough. She was very good at knowing how to play nice. I recall our neighbor's Rottweiler Dolly got out one day and was in our yard and Molly went tearing after her barking like she was rabid. She was at Dolly's ankle trying to remember how to attack but all she could do is bark real loud and act tough. Luckily Dolly was very docile and simply sniffed Molly. But that was my dog, she was funny all around.
In her later years she developed health problems. One of her ears eventually got so bad that they had to perform surgery on it and she lost all hearing in it. But there was no real difference in her because Molly chose when she wanted to listen and when she didn't. She really listened when the word "bone" was involved. Her health continued to get worse and her heart started to gather fluid around it. My parents had to feed her several pills a day for it. Eventually she lost hearing all together. But she never stopped being a loving dog, it meant the world to her if you would rub her ears for her you were her best friend. Eventually the fluid around her got to great for her to bear and her body started to shutdown. It got so bad that yesturday she could not walk across the room and my father took her to the vet, where it was determined best to put her down so she would not suffer anymore than she already had.
Molly was a very good dog and I will miss her very much. She was always a comfort when you needed one. She was a pain sometimes but overall she was an wonderful dog. I have many good memories of her and will cherish them forever.
Rest in peace Molly Tamale Wingfield, we will miss you. You truly were man's best friend.
Love and kisses,RickTo leave you with a quote:
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."
~Josh Billings
p.s. Sorry I do not have anymore pictures of her, I will try to dig some up.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
radioactive man
To those I adore,
So now vacation is over, the first homework has been assigned and completed. The good news is I still have not learned my lesson on homework. I have gone to school for going on 7 years of college now and I still wait until the day before the homework is due to start it, even when the professor urges the students to not wait, what do I do, wait. However, I did complete it on time so no worries. The job search is going slow, I applied for several jobs back west but so far have heard from none. The east is not me, I need the west, I feel different here. I am not as easy going as I used to be. Everything sometimes seems like a great pressure coming down on me. Sometimes I feel like I can't bare it. I have no escape here, back at OSU I could take a drive and get some scenery for lunch, here I see nothing but the tree lurking in front of me. Anyways that is enough bitching for now. I am applying to OSU again and will hopefully be back there next fall, or get a job before then!
He is a grey kitten and I picked out Neville, or Cedric. Long ago I posted a blog saying I was going to name him Neville, but Kailey didn't like that. She suggested names from other books I like. I have recently been in a relationship with Stephen King's Dark Tower series. I thought Roland (pictured below) the main character would be a nice name also, but then that name was rejected. 
So I thought what other books have unique names that I have really enjoyed, and bam the Iliad popped into mind so I went through the list of great characters Achilles, Ajax, etc. All names have been vetoed. So now I am once again nameless for my kitten. I have been racking my brain for a name, my last cat I named Beeth-oven, but we ended up calling him Beethoven. So I was thinking of more classical artist I like. Maybe I will name him Dali after the painter. It really depends on how he acts when we bring him home. At least I didn't name him Grey Kitty or Cucumber, sorry that was a little poke at Paige, ha ha. So if anyone who reads this has any clue what to name a pure grey cute kitten let me know. I was thinking of Gandalf, but that is a little obvious since it is Gandalf Greybeard. Anywho let me know what you think I will put a picture up on Saturday. 
What else is in the news, hmmm, oh Kailey and I are going to a concert tomorrow night which should be fantastic since we have not been to one since being back east. It should be awesome, I just want to get out and live again, do something fun. I am really looking forward to it. The band is one of Kailey's favorites, I never really listened to them that much. However, the opening band sucks so much, I don't even want to sit through their performance. I doubt Kailey does either. All I know is that I am not standing by the 10 foot tall speaker again like I did at Taking Back Sunday. I couldn't hear out of my left ear for three days.
So, if you are reading this you should leave a comment or shoot me an email. I do not hear much from anyone anymore and it is a little sad.
Hugs and kisses,
Rick
To leave you with a quote:
"Passion makes the world go round. Love just makes it a safer place."
~ Ice T
So now vacation is over, the first homework has been assigned and completed. The good news is I still have not learned my lesson on homework. I have gone to school for going on 7 years of college now and I still wait until the day before the homework is due to start it, even when the professor urges the students to not wait, what do I do, wait. However, I did complete it on time so no worries. The job search is going slow, I applied for several jobs back west but so far have heard from none. The east is not me, I need the west, I feel different here. I am not as easy going as I used to be. Everything sometimes seems like a great pressure coming down on me. Sometimes I feel like I can't bare it. I have no escape here, back at OSU I could take a drive and get some scenery for lunch, here I see nothing but the tree lurking in front of me. Anyways that is enough bitching for now. I am applying to OSU again and will hopefully be back there next fall, or get a job before then!
Now onto better brighter things! I got a cat! Well we paid for him to get his nuts disabled but on Saturday we get to bring him home. Kailey has been a pain (sorry but you have) about the names I have picked out. She named her cat Sirius, after the Harry Potter character Sirius Black, his full name is Captain Sirius Jack Black Sparrow, yeah put it all together and you have Kailey's favorite actor, book, and movie character. So when picking out names for my cat I was thinking of sticking to the Harry Potter theme.
He is a grey kitten and I picked out Neville, or Cedric. Long ago I posted a blog saying I was going to name him Neville, but Kailey didn't like that. She suggested names from other books I like. I have recently been in a relationship with Stephen King's Dark Tower series. I thought Roland (pictured below) the main character would be a nice name also, but then that name was rejected. So I thought what other books have unique names that I have really enjoyed, and bam the Iliad popped into mind so I went through the list of great characters Achilles, Ajax, etc. All names have been vetoed. So now I am once again nameless for my kitten. I have been racking my brain for a name, my last cat I named Beeth-oven, but we ended up calling him Beethoven. So I was thinking of more classical artist I like. Maybe I will name him Dali after the painter. It really depends on how he acts when we bring him home. At least I didn't name him Grey Kitty or Cucumber, sorry that was a little poke at Paige, ha ha. So if anyone who reads this has any clue what to name a pure grey cute kitten let me know. I was thinking of Gandalf, but that is a little obvious since it is Gandalf Greybeard. Anywho let me know what you think I will put a picture up on Saturday. What else is in the news, hmmm, oh Kailey and I are going to a concert tomorrow night which should be fantastic since we have not been to one since being back east. It should be awesome, I just want to get out and live again, do something fun. I am really looking forward to it. The band is one of Kailey's favorites, I never really listened to them that much. However, the opening band sucks so much, I don't even want to sit through their performance. I doubt Kailey does either. All I know is that I am not standing by the 10 foot tall speaker again like I did at Taking Back Sunday. I couldn't hear out of my left ear for three days.So, if you are reading this you should leave a comment or shoot me an email. I do not hear much from anyone anymore and it is a little sad.
Hugs and kisses,
Rick
To leave you with a quote:
"Passion makes the world go round. Love just makes it a safer place."
~ Ice T
Monday, December 18, 2006
the end...almost
To all I adore,
The end has arrived yes the end. What end, the end of the term. I am free for a little bit. Within the next twenty four hours I will be flying clear across country back to Oregon. Kailey and I are looking forward to going home very much. The south is not Christmas weather. Today it was in the high sixties, in December!!! Kailey and I already celebrated our Christmas and unwrapped the presents we got for each other. Why did we do this you may be asknig yourself? Well we will not be together for Christmas since we will be at our parents houses, so we picked a day that we both had nothing to do and got up early (thanks to me) and unwrapped gifts.
First, I will start with all the awesome gifts I got. The big gift was a Sansa music/video/photo gallery/fm radio player picture below. It is pretty sweet. Way better than iPod.
I tell you I made out like a bandit. Next I got the movie Beerfest go see it now if you have not it is so funny it will make you pee your pants, it also makes you want to drink beer so A.A. members may want to take a pass on this movie. I got a few styling shirts from Old Navy, one which was very warm, I did not expect it to be that warm.
The end has arrived yes the end. What end, the end of the term. I am free for a little bit. Within the next twenty four hours I will be flying clear across country back to Oregon. Kailey and I are looking forward to going home very much. The south is not Christmas weather. Today it was in the high sixties, in December!!! Kailey and I already celebrated our Christmas and unwrapped the presents we got for each other. Why did we do this you may be asknig yourself? Well we will not be together for Christmas since we will be at our parents houses, so we picked a day that we both had nothing to do and got up early (thanks to me) and unwrapped gifts.
First, I will start with all the awesome gifts I got. The big gift was a Sansa music/video/photo gallery/fm radio player picture below. It is pretty sweet. Way better than iPod.
I tell you I made out like a bandit. Next I got the movie Beerfest go see it now if you have not it is so funny it will make you pee your pants, it also makes you want to drink beer so A.A. members may want to take a pass on this movie. I got a few styling shirts from Old Navy, one which was very warm, I did not expect it to be that warm. I got a Superman action figure, it was not one from the movie I have been doddling over (yes I just made up a word). But it was equally as cool if not cooler. It was from the notorious animated series JLA (for those who do not know that is Justice League of America). It is freaking sweet. I got some axe body spray which comes out very very fast just a warning if you ever get it. ALong the Superman lines she got me another awesome gift along the same lines. It was a graphic novel, which means a giant comic book, it is after the Death of Superman series.
I also got a kick ass DVD that was super cool. It is a live concert of one of my all time favorite bands AFI. I have already watched the entire concert, it is the only band I can say I have been an actual fan of. She also got me a few stocking stuffers like some card games that I have never heard of but they look really fun, we have not got a chance to play yet but we will soon. One is a pirate game! I also got a hand held solitaire game. I also, got another action figure of Spiderman, it is a standstill of him.
Now for what I got Kailey. First, the big one I got a iPod stereo, it is also a DVD player, radio player, CD player, and it plays any other MP3 players. I got her a few pieces of jewelery that I got a super awesome deal on the day after Thanksgiving. I got her a few movies, Pirates 2, Tailidega Nights, Best of Will Ferrell SNL, and Groundhog's Day, all of which were of course sweet deals. I got her an Edgar Allen Poe book that I got another sweet deal on. The movies of course were more of an "us" gift, along with the stereo since I benefit from it as well. I got her two band t-shirts, and some stocking stuffers from the dollar store but were still very thoughtful and radical.
Anywho, that is all from now.
Love and kisses,
Rick
To leave you with a quote:
"Please be eighteen."
~Ricky Bobby
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